The Ultimate Vampire Resource and Directory

I feel its time to rant again. I want love and commitment Im afraid of dying alone or struggling through my life without true love. I almost blew it with my best friend again Im going through this thing where i just wanna sleep. Im so afraid of losing a friend of mine if i fall for someone else. Im afraid to love someone else that they will leave me again. Idk what im gonna do but i know this i cant please everyone. Stephen Im'ed me this morning for perhaps the last time. I still love him and I will miss him but obviously he wasnt right for me. Someday I wanna be married I wanna have my moment as a bride *sigh* if it ever comes. Mean time i will stick with a guy who does actually treat me right I like him I really do but I can make him tie down to one relationship. I hope you will always be glad to know me I love you. I mean it I swear it just please dont leave me. To top it off my dad and mike think im the most lazy person. I can find a job I really wanna work at kroger but they think I should try wendy's Im scared to go all by myself downtown. sigh but i might not have a choice im not ready for school yet. Im such a fool Idk y i keep trying and my past is killing me I had one who loved me and I let her go for a guy who in turn cheated on me. WTF? i must be about dumb. I just wish i could strip and rewrite my life. But i wouldnt remove any of my vr friends but i wouldnt b another pathetic cyberer either.i guess ill live tho hopefully.

COMMENTS

-

---

LadyChordewa
01:54 Dec 20 2009

First.......BREATHE!!!!!!!



What you are feeling, is normal. Every woman is worried about never being a bride, never feeling complete, never being loved.



I felt the same way, at your age, so much, that I jumped at the first guy that asked me to marry him. I was in love with the idea of being in love, not with him. He didn't treat me right and eventually raped and abused me.



When you are ready, you will know. Just have patience.

*hugs*

---

bloodyfairy
20:30 Jan 17 2010

its ok my sweet shadow it will happen u just sometimes have to take ur hands off the wheel and let ur life take its own course i did and now i am very much in love w/ my husband...*big hugs*

---

POST COMMENT